I don't need a reason to miss you

From time to time, I told myself that I gotta take life seriously here and there. I need not to have doubt about things I have desire and love on. If I got nothing to save, my life will be doomed. It's the responsibility that has taken a lot of account in me. Just like death has taken place on people; I wouldn't succeed if I did not put my soul and trust in things. To believe and put your whole trust, I guess; is a very powerful thing.

Visiting you at the graveyard really gives me something special. It's a feeling no one can ever have but me. Because this is a story of you and me, not theirs. Cleaning all the bushes away. Sprinkling the water on the soil. Kneeling on my knees, I wish I knew better how to regain all those feelings I have for you and talk nicely in the prayers; but the words just did not come out pretty good. Moving both of my hand and placing them in the air just nice were the only thing that made sense to me. Everything else just stuck inside the throat.

I saw the sister's tears running down her cheeks. I wish I could do that. I wish I could whisper to you just like what I used to do during a few years back; when the soil was still wet. Grabbing the big cactus there and wishing it was your hand I am holding. With puffy eyes, red and sore, I was such and idiot back then; immature me.

I guess I am too long for a grip now that I miss you 24/7.

al-fatihah