Someone great, please marry me please

After countless thoughts on finding a job to live well, I said to myself perhaps I should be changing my life course now. To do TESL or to do Medic? Having a conversation with the siblings yesterday on this matter, sister asked in shock, "Medic? Are you insane?".

Yeah maybe I am. 

Truth is I have so many interests going on my head. To find that one thing that actually works is tough as nothing has yet landed nicely in front of me. If it is up to me, I just want to sew.

Make clothes. Make arts. Design things. Draw. Paint. Sing. Learn to play the guitar. Learn to play the ukulele. Play violin again. Learn to play the piano. Read more books. Write a book. Write another book. Write more books. I don't know. Because these are not the kind of thing that would please the family. Sigh. Well they perfectly know how weird I am since little though. Most of the youngest ones tend to have those weird traits and attitudes that usually none others do.

To be kind and stay kind and be less angry even towards unfair things that happened alone is tough these days. The weather is hot. I mean, very. And I only love cold weather because heat always kills me.

After the discussion on finding a job that suits me, that could actually make money for a good living, the siblings suggested me to get married. Haha. As if I could just pick a man and say hey let's get married and live together! And also as if I could just marry any man who wants to marry me, too. Sigh again. My life is upside down. I don't want to burden the husband, haha.

Shocking update: I lost my appetite after getting back from Umrah. Do I miss Makkah and Madinah? Yes of course. But this disease is not due to that. Something else is troubling my mind. It's been just a week and I dropped 4kg. Which is great actually because I do want to lose some weight. But it's just not normal to not eat. Along with my abnormal sleep patterns (well this actually happened all the time so no extra worries on this matter). Or perhaps I just discovered the only way to lose weight fast for myself because practicing healthy eating habit and exercises rarely work for me.

Enough babbles for today. I'm trying to sleep here. 

Dear reader/s. Take care of yourself. Take care of your life. I'm seeing some lights nearer. So don't worry about me. This is just some random rambles. Just need to keep praying and struggle more. Tata!