Traumatized

Well, where to start? I have claustrophia.

Sometimes I have to control my breath well in order to ride an airplane. Sometimes it doesn't bother me at all. Maybe to the fact that I slept continuosly from Kuala Lumpur to Abu Dhabi to Manchester once.

Simply say, I have be safe or feel safe. I cannot feel trapped. Even being in this office environment with no visible windows kind of drowned me a bit. I took time to adapt and get familiar with the area.

Last week I went eating with friends at a restaurant. We had to sit at first floor since ground ones were full of people. But upstairs were also packed and loud. I have to calm myself from thinking that the only exit down is the staircase in order to continue eating.

I may not show or tell, but sometimes it was that bad.

And I developed anxiety issues from time to time. I don't handle pressure well. So yeah I can get panic out of the blue when I am alone.

So to top all of these, I got into an accident last Tuesday. Luckily not alone; with a colleague as my co driver. They were only scrapes and scratches on the body of my car. But I can still see the image of the black car on my right hand side bumped into my car.

The scar it left on the car may not be much, but I find it hard to let go.

Wednesday morning I was trapped in a traffic jam on my way to work. And the feeling was horrible. It's just me. This shall pass.

What do people usually say?
It's all in your head.

Thank you for the prayers. I am physically fine.

Dear God, please take care of me.