I just let the siblings or the parent thought of that as my habit of laziness. Because once I am recharged, you can really count on me on a lot of things.
Not that I maintain to be manusia tak guna selamanya.
I am sorry you guys cannot understand much about what I'm dealing with. It hurts too much trying to explain when you don't really listen.
You were just there to give advices.
I don't need advices, I just need some reassurances that I can take all the time in the world and disappear for a while or two and you'll love me nonetheless. A support system. Just be there. Wait for me. I'll be home. And for that, even without a good base of knowing what I am facing, even when labeled as the sister who sleeps a lot, thank you for always turning out the same at loving me. It is enough and I am grateful for this.
I don't know whether hectic-ness in an awesome environment is going to kill me or heal me. But I am willing to try it. Dear God please grant me this.
I can't die yet. There're so much to discover and experience. Chances to grab. Opportunities to catch. I want a big fat cat I can call my own on my bed every morning and night. Yeah let's just focus on this one first.
This anxiety is killing me. But I'll be okay. I had to because I want to. Why do I want it? Because it's killing me and there's so much to learn ahead. I have to keep going.
Thank you.
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