There were times when you were caught thinking over the same matter again and again. And then you feel suffocated and lost. You got carried away with something else but the heavy thoughts stay. It's too heavy you can't seem to move even an inch. Perhaps you wanna blame the gravity for locking you to the ground. All you're able to do is to stare blankly at the ceiling. Looking at the rotating blade as if you could see through it and touch the darkness outside. You imagined the sky hanging up there with the stars. You wished to grab one but it's still too heavy to lift your hand. So you just stayed that way for a long time. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting and wishing for a miracle to appear and ease the burden. You befriend with the silence. You started to believe in things. Even things that seems like no way it could be real. You talked to yourself, because no one cares to listen. But someway, somehow you learnt that hope kills. You started to get tired to keep on living. You wanted to blame somebody but there is no one near to point. You started to disappear. You put the rules behind. You care less.
Then you realized that none of these make sense. So you stopped. You just stopped. Because that's what you've been wanting all these while. Sometimes, when you get too absorbed like this, you get frightened of yourself.
02:31, 061212
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