Numbered

1. Seems like ignoring people is not my thing. The more I try to retreat, the more I suffer.

2. My curiosity about other beings I care about kills me. If cats die figuring things out, I may die not knowing it all.

3. I am eating and sleeping well. Already lost 4kg. A lot more to lose. A slow progress is a good thing I hope I can develop and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

4. I really love being alone these days. Though I'm worried this environment would change me into somebody I won't recognise. 

5. Coming back from Manchester at the end of 2014 I was depressed for some months when the house doesn't feel like home anymore; it felt so empty.

6. These days I am just spending a little more time, reconstructing what I am capable of in order for it to feel homey again. Praying it works.

7. I hate it when I get so serious in my relationship with people. 

8. I hate my ability to read people around me. I hate to realise things are different and people no longer shares the same interests or showing interest anymore. 

9. What am I supposed to do when I really felt so low. Yet those I looked up to didn't reached out a little longer. I am sorry I lost my confidence.

10. Stupid adult life. We spent our time and money investing on the wrong thing. We get so worked out then left with nothing to stay happy and content. Feelings don't last? Heh.

And at number 11, I would like to apologise for being like this. We're all the conclusion of the choices we took and the opportunities we left behind. 

When the clock ticks 12, everything should turn out fine. Hope so.