Looking forward to a new starting point

I am 26y/o. In less than 4 years I will be 30y/o.

Maybe I am destined to do things differently. Or maybe I am just a freak. A coward.

Dear loved ones, thank you for the support. I'll strive and struggle better from now on. I will grab opportunities better.

It's just that right now, I am not strong enough.

No point in going forward in this direction. I got hurt so much I don't think I can take the pressure well. I guess I'm just too fragile in this sense.

Every time I fill my thoughts with this matter, my body started rejecting food. My mind got unstable, headache came and my focus got lost. I get traumatized.

I thought it's just a simple panic attack or I was restless and all but with the explanations stated, a girl called it anxiety issues. She used to have it.

My question is, would you stay if you feel unwanted?
In any kind of relationship or situation.

Last night a good friend asked, "What do you really wanna do in your life?".

I answered, "I just want to do things I want to do."

He's not satisfied with it. But I felt like telling everything already. I want to feel content. I want not just to be happy. I want to feel it. I want to live for it. Live with it.

Should I die young, I don't want to die regretting.

3 comments:

izas said...

I feel you, girl. I totally feel you. *virtual hugs*

; said...

Ciannya.

Pisey said...

izas
*hugs*

yod
Sobs.