To keep still

I cannot stop being fragile. I am addicted to being that.

I am shaky when moments shattered and skies collapsed.

I don't know how to react normal when everything turns upside down.

I was trying to sense the space we live in.
The space we used to share.

And then I break myself for some time before finding the glue to put back the pieces into place accordingly.

I took my time because I am scared. People say time heals everything.

So I give my time some time to heal as well;
with lot of spaces.

I am scared so bad that I wept and cried in silence at night.

I screamed and shouted words when I felt lonely and the pain was not bearable anymore.

And then I realised how stupid this is. But it is the only thing that keeps me going and going and going.

I just want to stay alive because I have reasons still to live my life.

I have reasons to believe that in the future ahead, I will be much happier than the state I am now.

I am living to the extent of rationality because hope usually kills.
But think again, I have died enough.

Perhaps hoping is not a bad idea at all.
Like hoping to have someone to lean on. Someone to talk to. Someone to catch me.

And the fact that I usually live for the sake of helping people around me from getting drown, it ain't easy.

I am just human. I let out sighs and cries too.

I wish I could live until I have no reason for tomorrow.
That way--I won't regret a thing.